SOME EXCERPTS
FROM SPIRITED YEARLING WOUNDED:
"I had already talked to my counselor at BYU, Sister Jenson, about Kate because sometimes I had visions
of kissing her on the lips. They would just sort of flash in my mind and leave me feeling dirty and disgusting. I didn't tell
anyone about it except Sister Jenson, not even my friends in the support group on campus. All she said was that it was ok
to have the thoughts but not ok to act on them." p. 37
"I'm worried that the reason I feel these sexual feelings toward other women is because of [being sexually
abused by a man when a teenager]. What if I will never be able to have normal sexual feelings toward a man? I feel so ashamed.
I hope that one day I will be able to have normal sex with a man and not feel sexual feelings toward a woman ever again."
p. 165
"My
mouth hung agape because I was completely without word or thought. I had met my first real live lesbian. I looked her up and
down slowly and was surprised to see how normal she looked." p. 153
"...[Beth] planted one right on my lips ... Time slowed to a standstill
and fireworks exploded on the canvass of my mind; all those things happened that people talked about when it came to kissing
boys, but I had never felt until this moment with a woman ... When once I feared this moment would kill me, it filled me.
I didn't feel dirty at all but beautiful all over." p. 189
"... I cried. I didn't know why I grieved. I didn't anticipate giving
up the gospel, for I intended to live its principles. I suspected I grieved the support of the church as a whole, knowing
that I would be judged and ostracized. This realization devastated me because I had relied solely on the church for a sense
of identity and self-esteem ever since I was sixteen years old. Now I stood on my own." p. 193
[I think] God would rather have me love
a woman I feel attracted to instead of trying to love a man I might resent. How could I truly love him, then? He would deserve
more." p. 219
"Well,
if following the advice of the prophets by marrying a man or staying celibate was truly good for me, then I would feel light
and love come into my life even though the lifestyle might be difficult. Just the thought of doing either one of those things
breeds darkness and shame inside me whereas the idea of opening myself up to the possibility of being with a woman brings
me internal peace." p. 221-222
"A budding peace filled my spirit as I looked to my future, reassured. I finally understood what people
meant when they said that one could find heaven on earth; my contentment, in that moment, was everything I had imagined the
Celestial Kingdom to be." p. 225